What to do if you and your fiancé can’t agree on wedding decisions

by SandandLeaves

No doubt, planning a wedding is going to be stressful. What’s going to be more challenging is that, evidently, you’re not the only one involved in the planning process. You might find yourself in an argument with your partner about who gets included in the guest list, who sits next to whom, which color the napkin should be, where the reception should be, among many other things. Definitely, it’s all a big tangled ball of decisions which you have to begin slowly untangling one by one as a team.

Now, what’s important is that way ahead of those unpleasant disagreements you’ll be prepared on how to resolve conflicts you’ll encounter while planning. Here are then some tips you can follow to achieve that peaceful wedding planning you want:


Of course, this is the first step on the list. Planning with another person means being open to the idea that it is not only your opinions that will be considered in the entirety of the wedding. Much like your marriage, the planning is a team effort. It’s a partnership, a joint effort, which entails that you’ll have to accept another person’s ideas and take those into consideration in order to meet them half way.

One instance you can apply this is actually setting the budget for your wedding and planning how to achieve that budget. Aside from allocating funds for the catering, the cake, the band, and etc., you’ll soon see that there are expenses which need not be made like additional funds for that Louboutin wedding shoes or that seemingly “million-dollar” wedding dress. If you really want to use an expensive wedding dress, it should only be fair to your partner if you pay for that additional amount on top of the budget you have set for the dress. Another example is if you both want to include a large number of people for the guest list. You both might have to cut down your list of guests to be fair to each other or to both decide to cross off something else on your expense list in exchange for inviting more people.


It’s important to also let your partner know about the things that may be bothering you about the wedding. Assuming that they know everything without you having to tell them can be one of the most surefire ways you end up getting into an argument. So, despite the stress you may have been carrying for a number of days already, really try to talk to your partner calmly and explain what it is that you need to resolve as a couple. It may be the overbearing in-laws, the feeling of being alone and tired in the planning, or even just the sheer amount of tasks that are yet to be accomplished.

Learn to delegate and trust in your partner so that you are able to effectively divide the list of things to do before your wedding day. Communication to other people like your family can also help since you are able to let go of some of the tasks and assign them to your family members like the invitations. This will help you as a couple because you are able to focus more on the aspects of the wedding that are more important to you and ease out any tensions between the both of you. Lastly, in all of these dealings involving communication in the wedding process, learn to be assertive by being self-confident in your needs and wants but at the same time being considerate and not overly aggressive.


Always try to keep your cool. It is easy to lash out especially if you don’t get the response you desire from your partner. Always remember that it is not easy to take back what has already been spoken and that whenever someone talks, you don’t really have to immediately come up with an equally snarky reply. Carry each other along by being understanding of each other’s position and always process everything first without doing anything rash. This way it might be easier for apologies to come from both of you and for both of you to also come up with a solution to your issues. 


Never forget why you are doing all of these in the first place. No argument over the smallest of details is ever worth getting into a big fight with your fiancé. This is all for the celebration of your love for each other and so, ask yourself, what good would it do if you forget that love in the process? Your wedding is about you as a couple and during the planning process what often drives couples like you and your partner into the most massive of fights is listening to the demands of the guests who want to control how your wedding goes. It is then at those very moments that you exercise your rights as the to-be-wedded couple and actually pick what makes both of you happy, not the guests. Learn to put your foot down when needed and take little breaks just to feel happy about accomplishing tasks for the day. Always remind you and your partner who you are doing it for and that, no matter what, at the end of the day, it is still YOUR wedding day and that YOU get to decide.


All in all, because of the many things that are involved in planning a wedding, the smallest of things could also cause the biggest disagreements. Tensions and conflicts are really unavoidable especially that wedding planning is not an easy endeavor. However, by being aware that these can happen, you are already one step ahead of these conflicts and you can actually still do something to avoid them or to resolve them when they happen. So, for peaceful planning, always remember to: Compromise, Communicate, Chill, and Celebrate. 1,2,3 Inhale, 1,2,3 Exhale! You got this!

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